Day 3 -Think about ways to show affection to your partner.
Remember, this is about helping him feel appreciated and loved in the way he prefers to be loved. Day 4 — Think about your physical attraction to your partner. Tell your partner about it.
Autism and Romantic Relationships: Aspies Dating Aspies – Seeing Double, Understanding Autism
Day 5 -Reflect on other personal qualities you appreciate about your partner. Check out this list of comprehensive personal qualities and pick a few you see in your partner. Think of specific incidents that exemplify those qualities. Share them with your partner. Day 6 — Reflect on a belief or beliefs you both share. Talk about it with your partner. Day 7 -Write down your memory about when you both first met, recalling the feelings and good times you had in that first encounter. Day 8 -Think about what makes your partner your best friend.
Talk about it together. Day 9 — Reflect on the thought that Marriage is sometimes a struggle, but worth it.
The Fork in the Road
Discuss it with your spouse. Gottman talks about being aware of your partner, and his or her thoughts and feelings. When I turn toward my partner, I engage in discussion, tolerate conflict, and choose to be there for the relationship. Action Step — Watch this video to better understand this concept:. Action Step — Read this article from the Gottman Blog for practical ways to turn toward each other.
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Be willing to compromise. Learn to communicate effectively. Action Step — Play the Blind Mines game. Blind mines — Take turns blindfolding and guiding each other through an obstacle course in your living room. Scatter random objects over the floor and use verbal cues to help your spouse dodge the mines. A resource to consider. Instead of getting caught up with problems that seem impossible to solve, let the big things go, and concentrate on small successes. I highly recommend that you read, Loving Someone with Aspergers Syndrome for practical worksheets to help you solve conflict and overcome other challenges every couple has.
Take pleasure in living life together. Think about what rituals each of you particularly enjoyed growing up. Then talk about what kinds of rituals you would enjoy creating together. Read t his article from the Gottman blog to better understand how to create shared meaning together. When you discuss the rituals of connection in your relationship, make sure that you and your partner both have the time and energy for it. Remember that this exercise is meant to be an ongoing conversation and not to be completed all at once! I shared that my wife and I were literally at a fork in the highway on the way back from my parents a few years ago.
As the navigator, I was supposed to be paying attention to the directions and my surroundings. Instead, I had buried my attention in an article. Pay attention to yourself, your spouse, and the condition of your relationship. Apply the relationship tips for healthy relationships. What are some of your best health relationships tips? Please share them below! Now check your email to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. I'm a licensed clinical professional counselor and blogger committed to bringing you hope, understanding, and solutions that you can apply to your life immediately.
Are you tired of feeling alone, like you're the only one in this world? Near the end of my last relationship I became really depressed and ultimately suicidal from trying to force things to work all the time and knowing that something was missing. My ex felt the same way.
On the outside it was really good. We stuck it out for ten years and I think ultimately we were too nice to want to accept failure, so we both internalised most things and thought we were terrible people instead of just amicably calling it a day. We started dating a few months later and it was so much easier than my previous relationships.
They are so much easier to interact with. We are so much closer, because we think in the same way.
479: Aspie to Aspie: Relationships
It just feels right. I wish I had known how easy it is to date someone on the spectrum when I was younger. I realise that even more now that I have something to compare it to. When you first meet someone, their differences can seem endearing and funny and you are willing to overlook certain issues and keep quiet. You try even harder to keep the next relationship going. I feel a lot more optimistic about the rest of my life. What an interesting story! Dating can be incredibly difficult for someone on the autism spectrum.
- Autism and Romantic Relationships: Aspies Dating Aspies.
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You are beautiful in your own way. You have lots of qualities that people admire. You deserve respect and happiness.
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