I've lost count with how many women have rejected me but I can count the amount of women who I developed serious feelings for on one hand. When they reject you in some way, it can destroy you. You can't just "move on" when you have spent months getting close to a woman who you "click" with, and sometimes there are no "secret plans" to get into her pants, but just a close friendship that over time you slowly realize you want something more, but she rejects you.
It's not a matter of being "mad" at her or feeling "entitled" but a matter of depression when someone you spent so much time with and you thought you were going to have a long term relationship with, rejects you for whatever reason. I know with me it always seemed to be another guy who had more to offer her on multiple levels. Maybe he was "confident" as that word is often used but it's not about her, it's about you now having to recover from the rejection because when you truly fall for someone, your self-esteem starts to build up and you start doing things you would normally never do to take care of yourself since you actually have a reason that isn't "do it for yourself" to.
When that is taken away, that's where you mentally can fall off a cliff. I know it may not be "healthy" to have such deep feelings for a person who you don't know has the same feelings back, but they take control of you. In my case I finally found a reason to get up in the morning and improve myself to the point I got in much better physical shape.
Are You Facing Repeated Rejection in Dating? Here's What To Do - Christie Hartman, PhD
Sometimes we need that "exterior stimuli" to give us the kick we need to get ourselves together. Sometimes it can't all come from within. Not all of us are that mentally strong but when that source goes away, it's like removing the foundation from a building. Agreed, every new rejections without an affirmation in between is just more soulcrushing than the last. It's really hard to "just get over it and move on" when you're clinically depressed with tendencies towards agonizing, endless, masochistic rumination over all of your failures.
I think it's also hard for normies to fathom someone always being rejected. They think "okay, you were rejected here, but try again and again and eventually you won't be rejected". For some on this sub, that's just not the reality. There is no arbitrary n th time where we will try and be rewarded with success.
Dealing with Dating’s Constant Rejection
It hurts some people more than others. Personally, it hurts me a lot, which is why I could probably count the number of women I've made any attempt to date on 3 hands. But yeah, losing every time has really worn me down and I don't want to try anymore. Our study may also suggest some of the underlying physiology of stalking behavior," she added.
In hindsight the majority of people who rejected me did it because we weren't a good match.
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My knee jerk reaction was to be upset, and wonder what is wrong with me. It's not about getting over it, or maning up up, or even changing yourself if you don't want to. It's about realizing that you we all are looking for a good match. That doesn't come easy, and it's not always who you expect. If someone doesn't want to be with you, you might not realize that you probably don't want to be with them either. Why do you think you get rejected so often?
Are you pursuing women too intensely? Do you become attached too quickly without really knowing them? Why are you attracted to these women?
Welcome to Reddit,
Is it their personality, their looks? Why do you think you are compatible? If you want to date a girl, just to date a girl. Well that's not the best way to enter into a relationship. Unfortunately for us unattractive types, most people aren't going to go out with us before knowing us.
They aren't attracted to us physically, at least not right away. It's not fair and it takes more time. Conventional dating doesn't really work. Other people don't really understand. Not that those always work out, but it's a way to connect with someone, without our appearances being judged right away. Bonnie of is just over being a last minute, throw away idea. I had bought a ticket to see a movie and told him I was heading out the door. I did not call him any names, lay into him for ignoring me all week, or give him a hard time in any way.
He acknowledged that he could understand my making that assumption. We casually batted around seeing each other when his schedule settled down. I think we even sent a couple of follow-up texts the next day. Not as conventionally attractive as dude 1. He was not tall, had a receding hairline, and an average build, but he was a snazzy dresser and had an entertaining if brief profile. We flirted and he fairly quickly asked if I was free for lunch the following Saturday. Yes, the same day as dude 1.
I responded that lunch sounded great, stating that I was free for lunch from I went ahead and sent a brief follow up message that Friday. He did not answer me and I have never heard another word from him. He seemed like the type of guy that I should go out with. We exchanged a few messages. He kept it pretty perfunctory. No flirting, no deep questions. But he was friendly enough and wanted to lock into a date with me. We arranged a date the following week due to conflicting schedules. I very rarely cancel dates, but I had to reschedule.
I apologized, gave him plenty of notice about my needing to reschedule, and threw out alternative dates. He then cancelled on me, asking to re-schedule again. All it takes is a crisp pair of jeans, a nice button-down shirt, and some solid dress shoes. Then, go to a fancy barber and just tell them to make you look good. Meanwhile, you can take care of social status and your ability to talk to women with one step.
Having a female perspective in your life will make you a less narrow-minded person, and, significantly, a person at less risk of thinking that women are somehow homogeneously evil creatures who cackle at your suffering. And it could also help a lot with the dressing well part. For maximum efficiency, do some kind of group fitness. Yoga is wicked for relaxation and has a healthy gender ratio.
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- Reasons Why Some Women Are Always Rejected By Men | Thought Catalog?
- Done with online dating. Tired of non-stop rejection.
- Reasons Why Some Women Are Always Rejected By Men.
Having a shared activity makes bonding easier. Falling into a solid friend group will both give you a big boost in social status, make you better at extroversion, and expand the circle of people you can date. It is hard — this a journey that could take a few years before it has real effects. You could do all that stuff and still get rejected, at least for a while, maybe for a long time, until you really master social skills.
These steps will make you happier and healthier no matter what , and that process will start quite quickly. Which, by the way, is one good way to get laid. I would wish you good luck, but that would be disingenuous.